Thursday, January 29, 2009

Google vs. Bible vs. iBible

In the beginning, they didn't have Google; they had Bible. You can go home and google that.

Recently, a group of sciencey men and women were asked to Google the phrase, "Googling," and to no one's surprise, they glimpsed infinity. "It was like holding a mirror up to another mirror, but digital."

Try it yourself. Repeating their steps will make you sciencey, too.

Facts, figures, disputes and you can google anything, because "to google" is an infinitive, or a fucking verb! To google is so common that one would think it contains everything, which means that google is also a noun...some type of super-storage-warehouse-noun, likely located in China. And I have a googly suspicion that it will one day eat into other areas of language.

Why think when you can google?

So, to repeat...In the beginning, they didn't have Google; they had Bible. That's "The" Bible, the Holy part is implied. Shortly after that, they had iBible, which was a hip, alternative version of Bible. It was also known as Christianity. It differed from Bible mostly in that it had a better marketing department called Roman Empire. That's "The" Roman Empire. The Holy part is once again implied.

One can only assume that Bible, also, was once a verb or adverb... just the words "verb" and "adverb" prove you can do anything in Latin!

Most sciencey folk these days agree that stoners in the Bible and iBible days of lore, gathered around, smoking frankincense and myrrh, when one remarked, "Who invented Myrrh?"

His companion, also stoning someone, remarked, "Ewww, That is a Bibly question. Let's Bible it. Good thing we have God as a source. That's "the" God. The Holy part is implied."

Many years later, the powers that be released Bible 2.0, except this time they called it "Science." And it got angry with Bible and iBible...Like a teenager to its parent.

Parents (Bible and iBible): "But we created you."
Child (Bible 2.0, or science): "Prove it!"

Then Bible 2.0 begot technology, and technology begot the nuclear bombs, global warming, and Bible 3.0, which was called "Armageddon." The End.

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