Monday, January 26, 2009

The Post-ordinary school of thought

The Post-ordinary movement is a creation of Matthew Bulman and Kristen Ross, circa December 19, 2008, 2:39pm. The school originally grew out of a need to classify certain nouns in today's world. Sure, we are all aware of the illusive classification system of the Post-Modernists. However, the Post-Ordinary World requires certainty rather than ambiguity; we need lists, rather than nebulous, half-formed ideas. As such, the following nouns are specifically endorsed by the Post-Ordinists:
1-Lists
2-Goldfish
3-Bellydancing
4-Obese Children
5-Andrew Humphries
6-Twelve Step Recovery groups
7-Walking
8-Public transit
9-Push Bikes
10-Terrorism (albeit, not the public's favorite, but post ordinary just the same!)
11-Apostrophies
12-Shorts
13-The clothing size extra-medium
14-Four-square
15-Pegg 'em
16-Nuke 'em
17-The Metric System (valid only in the US)
18-The Imperial System (valid only outside the US)


The movement is growing. What started out as 18 specific nouns, and a few supporting nouns (also called adjectives), is spreading like a virus through the English Language. A post-ordinary virus. It's eating up language like the flesh-eating bacteria. In fact, add that to the fucking list! 19-Language gobbling bacteria.

And make 20-virus/bacteria interchangeability. And make 21-the widespread use of antibiotics against viruses, which has caused the bacterial form of the Language Gobbling Bacteria (see number 19) to mutate, though plasmids, into forms other than lists of nouns. Super-lists of nouns and Super-nouns (verbs). God, help us! God help us all! 22-God

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