Friday, February 20, 2009

Tactical Argument

Tactical Argument

Have you ever argued with someone when you know you will lose because you don’t have any "facts"? And while wisdom would dictate that you should concede, you get sucked into the debate and make it very personal. Before you know it, you can’t stop arguing because of one fact that you use as a trump card: You are better than them.

So, being crafty, you decide to use some tactics…intimidation and aggression are the first line of defense. You say something choice, both heavily opinionated and laden with self-righteousness, “Look, I don’t who you think you are, JUDGE…”

The word “JUDGE” will do funny things to a person. It tends to bring you back to reality, and, somehow, the courtroom. Reminded that while you may not have any facts, the prosecution does. Their facts are called “evidence’ and are referred to as Exhibit A, B and so on and so forth. Furthermore, these facts manifest as witnesses and videotape.

You immediately adjust your tactics, reverting from a passionate spirit to a misguided form of logic. Certain that you can use the evidence against them, you say, “Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, while the prosecution would have you believe that I am standing there… “Naked”…in public… you can clearly see from Exhibit A that I am wearing shaving foam smothered on my balls.”

The phrase “shaving foam smothered on my balls” will do funny things to a person. Met by the courtroom’s silent, empty stares you once again adjust your tactics…both of them. You seek refuge in humor.

“I’ll tell you what…if you could have been there to hear the laughter coming from my friends, it nearly drowned out the screams of shock and horror coming from the children.”

About now it slowly dawns on you that you might never teach kindergarten again…so you decide to move to Australia and pursue stand-up-comedy. It really is the same old story, isn’t?

***I use the previous story to answer the question, “So, why did you move to Australia?”

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